Last Day

Today will be my last day at my job.

I’m having trouble balancing work and home life. I’m exhausted, stressed, and don’t think I can continue at this pace so I resigned.

This was an extremely difficult decision, one that I’m still emotional about and didn’t take lightly. Carl has been very supportive, but we’re both nervous about the lifestyle changes we’ll need to make for this to work. Maybe it’s just a fear of the unknown.

Leaving my job is really a disappointment for me. I worked hard to get here and leaving feels like a failure, even though I know it’s the right thing for my family and me. I do plan to continue working but I’ll need to find a job that is more flexible. I’ll need to map out a plan but the goal is fewer hours so I can spend more time with the kids and still have a little time for myself. I almost feel guilty typing that last statement but the key to balance will be finding time for myself as well.

Right now I plan to take a couple of months off to get my life in order. I’ll go to yoga; I need to get fit and healthy in a way that helps me manage stress. I’ll spend more time with the twins, time where they each can have some individual attention. I’ll get some grief counseling, I haven’t had the time or energy to face my father’s death and I think I need some help doing it.

Ultimately this is the right decision for me, but it was so hard to make that decision.