Even before we made the decision to try to have a baby, I’ve been worried about how we’ll manage and particularly with our work schedules. Now with the fertility treatments, it has definitely complicated work.
I’m working so hard to be respected and eventually promoted to principal at work, I don’t want anyone to know we’re trying to have a baby. I’m afraid I’ll be judged if I get pregnant, that the leadership will think I can’t carry my fair share of the work load and ultimately take me out of the consideration set for promotion. There’s nothing I can do about it and worrying really doesn’t help anything, but how I will be perceived at the office is a nagging concern.
That’s if I even get pregnant. Starting October 20th with nearly daily doctor visits I can’t travel as easily and when it come time for IVF, I’ll have two potential days I’ll have to be out of the office all day; for both egg retrieval and embryo transfer. These will fall right at the end of October and I’ll have clients in town for a big M. D. Anderson creative presentation on Wed. 10/29. This treatment takes the priority and if I have to be out of the office on the day of the meeting then that’s the way it goes. However, this client comes to the agency only twice a year and I’m still proving myself to them so I’d like to be in the meeting. It’s not the end of the world and in the big scheme of life the meeting is meaningless, but it’s also a little nagging concern.
Ultimately we all have to make sacrifices to get what we want, I’m just hoping I can find a good balance between work and family without losing any of the ground I’ve worked so hard to gain professionally. What’s funny is how much of a worry it all is without even having a baby yet.
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